Call me out/ Voice practice post for tacomeme

[tacomeme]

I've beaten Birthright, most of Conquest and am spoiled on all major plot points. Also open to AUs- note route or setting in starters please!

Threads will have Spoilers for all three routes, so please be aware!

Comments

[brynwieldr]

As soon as she realizes she's wearing Princess Sakura out, Elise will no doubt find a place for her to hide.

[Hopefully not this one]

That, or convince Corrin to turn the party into a sleepover in the ballroom.

[tacomeme]

Gods I hope not.

[He winces, realizing how awful that sounded]

Not that I mind sleeping here of course, but I doubt I would manage any actual sleep.

[brynwieldr]

I've fallen asleep in stranger places, but Niles usually finds me and gets me to bed before I have a stiff neck in the morning.

[He freezes, thinking about Niles at a slumber party]

--ugh.

[tacomeme]

[Leo's reaction makes Takumi snort in amusement]

He could teach a few other people some colorful language.

[Yes he totally heard about Elise picking up some words, or at least the story mutated through multiple tellings through various people]

[brynwieldr]

He only swears when he's angry or drunk. It's...everything else that's the problem. But he's loyal, so I can't really complain. He hasn't harassed you, has he?

[tacomeme]

Not... more so then anyone else? Though I've had my share of... comments.

[Not that he's noticed at least. Not that he's had much face to face interactions with the man- but Takumi isn't foolish enough to think he isn't watching him anytime he's visited. He wouldn't be worth his salt as a retainer if he wasn't]

[brynwieldr]

Of the "nobles deserve pain" sort or the "you have a nice ass" sort?

[tacomeme]

Both?

[brynwieldr]

[Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh]

At least he keeps his hands to himself unless otherwise asked.

[Leo goes back to his book before getting curious and glancing at one of the other books. That looks like-

Nope, covering his face with the one he's reading]

Corrin...

[tacomeme]

Oh? Did they leave anything good?

[He WAS curious if any Vallian literature was allowed up onto the surface. Gods, what ancient texts they could have there, completely untouched by their generation! He's never dared ask, lest it somehow be taboo]

[brynwieldr]

If by good you mean a copy of--

[Grabbing it to read the title]

--"The Soldier and the Slave", or one of the raunchiest pieces of erotica in the entire Nohrian royal library, then yes. Quite good.

[tacomeme]

[Oh poor Takumi looks about to catch on fire]

Wha- WHY WOULD THEY LEAVE *THAT* HERE?!

[Now, Takumi had turned his nose up at any Nohrian lit. until the last two years- during which he had devoured both what Leo sent him and his own purchases (and things he'd wheeled from the Nohrians that had come back to Hoshido with their new spouses). So he knew, if just from osmosis, the kind of quality erotic writings they were known for. It was VERY different for the Hoshidan equivalent, which was usually hidden in layers of metaphor.

Though their *art* was occasionally pretty lewd and known to involve sealife. Still, this was a bit much]

[brynwieldr]

Honestly? I imagine they thought they were helping. It's like they weren't aware just what everyone did between battles in their astral plane...that, or they're a terrible person who likes to poke at their younger brother.

[Referring to him in this case]

Probably both.

[tacomeme]

If that's the case then they could have picked a better time to... what... meddle? But this IS Corrin we're talking about.

[brynwieldr]

Their logic, and I promise you this is what they were thinking: the last time we were all together, there was a lot of sex. There will probably be a lot of sex this time. Surely raunchy homosexual porn will be welcome! I swear, that child is more interested in matchmaking than any actual matchmaker.

[tacomeme]

...well I can't completely argue their point.

[Thank the gods for the deeprealms or else half their army would be laid up with sudden pregnancies at any one time]

Still, it's a strange choice.

[He reaches out and takes the book, flipping through it]

There's not even any art in this.

[brynwieldr]

[Leo is so red and takes it back, flipping to a passage and reading it aloud:]

"--being at the mercy of his slave sent jolts of guilt, shame, and pleasure down Reynard's spine. Tied up like this, facing the mirror, he couldn't look away. A dirty rag tied over his mouth to keep him from crying out while Kris pounded into him at a speed that was tearing Reynard apart, Kris's thick cock making him wish he had never been caught with those whores."

[A look (still blushing)]

Nohrian romance writers don't need art.

[tacomeme]

[He's fire red at that, eyes huge.]

Somehow I'm not surprised you knew exactly what page to flip to in order to prove your point.

[There's no judgement in that- after all, that was the point of a shunga, and they were supposed to tailor to any taste and whim.]

[brynwieldr]

Oh, I could have picked worse. There's an entire chapter where they're involved in an orgy, and of course the arc where, in order to prove his worth as a hero, Reynard is forced to allow Kris to perform the Seven Demonic Acts with him--or, as Niles put it, become Kris's bitch in front of hundreds of people doing things even he'd side-eye. That one was tame. In the first chapter.

[So red. So, so red]

[tacomeme]

[His face is in his hands at that point, half mortified, half laughing because that is pretty over the top.]

I'm starting to wonder if you're pulling my leg.

[brynwieldr]

[Leo opens the table of contents to show Takumi.

Each chapter title is accompanied by a very descriptive summary of what kinky sex acts the heroes perform in it.]

I never lie about books. Even raunchy erotica.

[tacomeme]

Something I've noticed while catching up on some of the books you've sent me- your writers sure do love stories about nobility in peril.

[He rests his chin in his hand, smirking a little]

[brynwieldr]

[Leo rolls his eyes a little]

Nohrian literature can be divided into three genres: nobility in peril and saved by nobility, nobility in peril and not saved, and children's stories.

[Still, he's blushing. He's not lying, but Leo happens to really like that second category. A lot]

[tacomeme]

Heh, maybe I should have just stuck with the military strategy and philosophy books.

[Even though he looks interested]

I'm guessing roving ronin were the bad guys in those a lot.

[brynwieldr]

For a certain definition of "bad guys". There is a huge section of the population with what can only be described as a Hoshido kink.